We’re here today to honor some very fine people on both sides. Robert E. Lee is something — isn’t he? Good lookin’ guy, tough guy, a real fighter. Grant is good, I mean, I don’t know him, but I hear good things, but Lee — woah! Am I, right folks?
I love the military. No one loves the military more than me. We’ve got cannons. You’ve never seen such cannons. The booms are tremendous. You should hear the booms. There have never been booms like ours in the history of booms. Scares the hell out of liberals. That’s why I’m president. Booms don’t scare me. Nothing scares me. I’ve never been scared. You know who else never gets scared — Robert E. Lee.
Look, some people don’t like Lee. They say he’s waging war against our country or whatever. We’ve done bad things too. I mean, why are we in this war? States' rights sound like a pretty good thing to me. I’m no expert. I love freedom, you love freedom, but the Deep State with its radical Black agenda hates it so, you know.
A lot of people died here. I wouldn’t have died here. A lot of people say I would have been an amazing soldier, maybe the best, better than even Robert E. Lee. Boy, I wish we had that guy, but we have me. But me and Lee together. Beautiful. We’d kill a lot of Union guys.
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