It occurred to me recently that Donald Trump often sounds like a gangster rapper from the late 80s, early 90s. Most of the words in this song were either spoken or written by Trump. This piece isn’t meant as a criticism of hip-hop. Mostly, I just find it odd that his most ardent supporters would take offense to these words if they were in a hip-hop song, but don’t seem to mind when Trump says something similar.
Yo, Easy D in the White House!
Person. Woman. Man. Camera. TV.
I’m cognitively there.
FAKE NEWS beware!!!
My authority is total, and that’s the way it’s got to be.
I could stand in the middle of Fifth Avenue and shoot somebody.
Hamberders.
Sorry losers and haters, but my I.Q. is one of the highest.
I’m a very stable genius.
With a very big —
Button.
A much bigger —
Button.
A more powerful —
Button.
And it works.
Jerk,
My Button.
I moved on her,
Like a bitch.
I did try and fuck her,
Inspect the bunker,
A young and beautiful,
Piece of ass.
But these NASTY WOMEN!
Horseface.
Disgrace.
Bleeding out their whatever.
Hamberders.
I’m very rich,
Nobody’s ever been more successful than me,
I can grab ’em by the pussy,
My authority is total, and that’s the way it’s got to be.
I could stand in the middle of Fifth Avenue and shoot somebody.
ENEMY OF THE PEOPLE!
Person. Woman. Man. Camera. TV.
I’m cognitively there.
FAKE NEWS beware!
So bring your plane full of thugs,
Your rapists and murderers,
From those shithole countries,
I’ll lock them up,
Send them back to where they came from.
I’m not Hiden Joe Biden,
I’m Easy D,
My authority is total and that’s the way it’s got to be.
And I’m here to say.
Election —
(RIGGED!)
Delay.
Coronavirus —
(HOAX!)
Will go away!
Sorry losers and haters, but my I.Q. is one of the highest.
I’m a very stable genius.
With a very big —
Button.
A much bigger,
Button.
A more powerful,
Button.
And it works.
Jerk,
My Button.
Read: Dumpster Fire: 2020, Trump, and Other Stories From Our Fully Engulfed World
