I’ve been thinking a lot lately about the nature of power. Specifically, I’m interested in the ornaments of authority, namely crowns. The monarchy doesn’t hold much sway anymore, save for a few outliers like Saudi Arabia and Bahrain. Monarchs in most countries, like the UK, are figureheads, who are good for tourism but not much else.
Monarchy is that guest at the party that just won’t leave even though it’s three in the morning and the other partiers left hours ago. The system has worn out its welcome. Even so, I want to take a second to reflect on one aspect of this dusty old leftover: the crown.
Crowns are big and shiny. They’re somehow imposing and ridiculous. If crowns are meant to convey the seriousness of the office, the effect is ruined the second you watch someone try to stand up and walk while trying to balance a crown on their head. It’s a a precarious and fragile scene that serves as a perfect metaphor for rule derived through blunt power or lineage.
At some point in human history a group of people got together and decided the best way to articulate authority was by placing a metal circle made of precious metals and gems atop someone’s skull. Why go this route?
Why not put a bagel on the monarch’s head? It doesn’t have to be particularly big or fancy. A simple plain bagel will do. If the king or queen is truly the authority, one who derives their power from God, then it doesn’t matter what sits atop their strudel. A monarch with a plain bagel on their crown should command just as much respect as one with a bedazzled cranium.
My idea seems cost effective and way less cumbersome then the task of caring for and securing a priceless piece of head jewelry. And maybe that’s the point. Bagels are easy to come by when compared to the materials needed to make a crown. It would be harder to convince people that you were the law of the land if anyone could place a food stuff on their dome and proclaim themselves your equal.
Crowns are a trapping of power. They’re imbued with meaning and derive their importance from people. A crown without awe, admiration or fear is just a bunch of metal and rocks. Would people have tolerated centuries of cruelty and subservience if their murderous or greedy monarch performed their duties while wearing a cheese bagel on their head? Even better, why did people tolerate these things for so long from someone wearing a costly paperweight atop their noggins? I have no idea, but the nature of power, how it’s obtained and how it’s retained, fascinates me.
