How the Hell Do I Explain This: An Imaginary Conversation with My Son About the Muslim Ban, Refugees, and Trump

Son: Dad?

Me: Yeah buddy.

Son: What’s a refugee?

Me: Well. A refugee is someone who needs a home.

Son: What happened to their home? Did it get burned down in a fire?

Me: Kind of. You see, the place where they lived isn’t safe anymore.

Son: Why? What happened?

Me: There’s a lot of fighting and people are getting hurt.

Son: They should be nice.

Me: That’s true but sometimes people aren’t nice.

Son: And that’s how come there are refugees?

Me: It’s a little more complicated, but yeah, pretty much.

Son: Can the refugees stay with us? We have lots of room.

Me: They probably won’t stay with us but they might able to come to our country.

Son: Country?

Me: We live in the United States which is one of many countries around the world.

Son: I don’t get it.

Me: Think of a country as a house in a neighborhood.

Son: That’s a big house!

Me: Yes, yes it is. We live in the United States house which is filled with lots of different people. Our neighbors are the Mexico house and the Canada house.

Son: Who lives there?

Me: Different kinds of people but not the same kinds of different people that live in the United States house.

Son: ???

Me: Let me start over. Think of a country as a toy.

Son: I love toys!

Me: Exactly! But your toys are different, they aren’t all the same. They come in different colors, sizes, and shapes.

Son: Kind of like how Nemo isn’t the same as Elmo?

Me: Yep. But instead of toys, countries are filled with people.

Son: What kind of people?

Me: Regular people. People like you and me.

Son: If they look like you and me does that mean they can come to our country?

Me: That’s a hard one. They don’t look exactly like you and me.

Son: Like they don’t have faces?

Me: No. They have faces. Some of these people might be a different color than you and me.

Son: Is that bad?

Me: No, not at all. It’s just that some people in our country are scared.

Son: Are refugees mean?

Me: No. They’re nice.

Son: If they’re nice and need a home then they should come live with us.

Me: You’re right but some people in our country think the refugees might not be safe.

Son: Who?

Me: Our president.

Son: What’s that?

Me: A president is kind of a leader. He gets to decide who comes into our country.

Son: And he doesn’t want refugees in our country.

Me: Yes and no. He doesn’t want certain refugees in our country.

Son: Why? What did the refugees do to make him mad?

Me: Nothing. They’re fine. It’s just they might think differently than we do.

Son: And that’s bad?

Me: No, not really. It’s just that some people who kind of look like them did some mean stuff.

Son: But the refugees didn’t do the mean stuff.

Me: Correct.

Son: So they can come to our country?

Me: I don’t know. Maybe.

Son: I’m confused.

Me: You know how you have favorite toys?

Son: You mean my doctor stuff, and my bicycle, and my cars?

Me: Yep. You play with them more than the others because you like them more. The same is true with refugees.

Son: Like how I don’t play with my trains because I don’t like them. We don’t want refugees because we don’t like them?

Me: No. No. F**K! I don’t think I’m explaining this well.